"Life is either a great adventure or nothing" - Helen Keller

I know it’s been a long time since I’ve been able to write a post...it seems life has been getting in the way, which is part of the reason I am writing today. And also because I’m having a huge “I miss Hanoi” day.  As I read about this year’s INDEVOURS initial feelings upon arriving, I can’t help but miss the rush of excitement and wonder I remember experiencing when I first got to Vietnam. I miss the feeling of adventure – knowing you’re at the start of amazing new chapter of your life and you’re going to do some amazing things. It also brings back my many happy memories of my time in Vietnam, the friends I’ve made, and the cultural habits I still can’t shake (you can ask my family, I still yell “Oi!” on a daily basis to get their attention). I also miss the place I call my second home because of how hard it has been to keep in touch with my friends there due to a 12-hour time difference. Trying to find times to skype or chat is nearly impossible while working full time! Finally, I miss the atmosphere of Hanoi. The hole-in-the-wall cafes, the history, the markets, and even the insane traffic. I guess what it comes down to is now that I’ve had the adventure of living in Vietnam, I feel like I need a new one. I think it’s more than just “the travel bug” or “wanderlust”... it’s the adrenaline of being somewhere new doing something exciting all on my own! Moving to the Victoria at the end of October for my Masters degree couldn’t come quick enough for me, because I see it as my next big adventure. I know Hanoi will always be a part of me though... as the start tattoo behind my ear reminds me every day!

Why I'm voting in Ontario's provincial election

I will start off this post by saying I am not trying to change the minds of those people who have chosen not to vote. Nor do I judge them for that decision. I’m just sharing my opinion on why I believe voting is important, and start a conversation on this important issue!

As many of us know (at least my Canadian friends reading this) that Ontario has a provincial election today. As usual, all that I have found that every politician in this race has been doing is pointing fingers at the other parties rather than telling us how they will fulfill their campaign promises. I have felt like I have to choose between the lesser of 3 evils. But as frustrating as this decision process is, I am going to use my right to vote today. Why? Because I am grateful to have the right to have a say in how my province in run.

I just lived in a country where people don’t even talk about their government. People can vote in Vietnam... but it’s a one-party system. The general public have very little say in how their country is run, how decisions are made, and the decisions that do get made. As well, I know people in Canada who’s family immigrated here years ago, but still do not have full citizenship and right to vote. That’s why I feel privileged to have the right, and duty, to vote for the person who will represent my interests in the provincial government. Even if none of the candidates represent my interest, I am also free to tell them that by declining my ballot. That is a privilege that not everyone in the world has, and therefore I choose to honour that privilege by exercising it. All it takes is a few minutes to read the parties platforms, watch the leader’s debate, or do an online political compass quiz. Then just a few more minutes to go to your closest polling station to fill out your ballot. And again, I truly believe that declining your ballot (which is just as powerful as voting for a candidate) is also exercising your right to have a say in who governs our province!


That’s my two-cents on voting and the election! What’s yours?

Coming home: How it feels to be back in Canada

It’s been 2 weeks since I’ve returned to Canada (I apologize for the hiatus in writing blog posts due to the chaos of leaving Hanoi then coming back home, by the way) and it’s been the biggest two weeks of ups and downs in my life. From tears to joy in the airport, to embarrassing silent tears of missing my Vietnamese friends on a GO bus ride. From starting an incredible new job, to feeling like I can’t connect with my friends and family the same way anymore. From celebrating completing my undergrad, to the realization that my classmates (and best friends) and I are now all heading down very different paths.

I also haven’t been able to shake the feeling of my own home feeling familiar, but very different at the same time. The places, the lifestyle, the people, are all “normal” to me. But at the same time, there are new buildings, places I used to frequent have changed (what do you mean Tim Hortons has changed their cups?!), and my friends/families lives have moved on while I was gone. Even the look of our Canadian money has changed during my 8 months away. And of course, I’ve changed in ways I’m still realizing. In terms of habits that have changed, “Oi” is still part of my daily vocabulary, I still give/receive things with 2 hands, and I’ll use chopsticks over a fork/knife. I forgot how to call over a waiter during my first few days back, and I nearly got run over by traffic my first few times crossing a street because “oh yeah, you don’t just step into traffic when you want to get to the other side of the road in Canada”. Little moments bring on waves of wanting to get on the next flight to Hanoi: like someone using a plastic water bottle when I just lived in a place where tap water was not drinkable, or the thought that for the price of a “nice” meal in Canada I could feed myself for weeks in Vietnam, or reading a blog post from a dear Vietnamese friend. And there was one point last week where I said "if one more person asks me how my trip was I am going to scream".

On a positive level however, I’ve certainly become more aware of the parts of my culture and Vietnamese culture that I value. I feel I’m more open, more mature, more culturally sensitive, more aware of how vast the world is and so ready to explore more of it. I’m a better communicator, more adaptive, more resilient, more comfortable being out of my comfort zone. These are all things I got the chance to identify during our debriefing sessions. But I also have been frustrated by feeling different in ways I cannot identify. Certain social situations have made me feel like I know I am different, but I just can’t say what that difference is. Such is the pains of reverse culture shock I suppose.

Despite these “growing pains”, this week I started an amazing job at the Markham Fair as a summer student. I have several responsibilities, including organizing/running a community garden, running sessions in primary schools teaching kids about planting, planting the sunflowers and pumpkins that the kids put into pots at these sessions, maintaining the gardens around the fairgrounds, creating a corn maze, and assisting with environmentally-focused summer camps. In my first 2 days, I have researched about community gardens, meet with a man involved in a town of Markham community garden, researched corn mazes, and got in touch with schools about my sessions! The job is very much about me accomplishing the goals of the position in my own way, and I love that I can take ownership of the projects I am involved in. I hope to keep my blog going this summer talking about what I’m up to at my job!

Until next time internet…

A rant about tattoos and Facebook: social media lessons

Today I had an experience on social media that has influenced my perspective and opinion about it. It started when I asked for some simple advice on a social media site about a tattoo. I wrote a question on the Facebook group “Hanoi Massive” (which is a group where expats living in Hanoi can post questions, events, room vacancies, etc) about where/how to dispose of the needle I was given by the parlor where I got a star tattooed behind my ear. I got many helpful answers, as I expected. But as could also be expected, two people with clearly too much time on their hands who decided it’d be funny to post “I'm more interested to hear about the Tattoo? Fusion Logo on your forehead?” and “We want photos of the tattoo or come and show me...”. These comments thoroughly upset me, and as much as I wanted to respond to them and defend tattoos (and the fact that they shouldn’t give a shit what I put on my body because well, it’s my body), I decided to be the bigger person and let it be. I instead decided to share my thoughts here on the whole situation, and the new opinion about social media it has given me.

So why did these comments upset me? I’m certainly no stranger to mean or mischievous people on the internet, but these comments hit me on a more personal level. First of all, as I mentioned, why is it their business what I put on my body? A tattoo is a deeply personal choice that I shouldn’t have to justify to anyone. Tattoos have meanings to the person who’s body their on, and for me, these comments made me feel like these people were questioning the significance of mine. It was like they were telling me I’m clearly one of those people who drunkenly decided to get a stupid tattoo. For me, tattoos are an art form and means of expression, and these people’s comments imply to me that they have the opposite opinion (although I can respect a difference in opinion). Also, these two people have never meet me before in their life, who are they to demand a picture of me or judge my personal choices? Lastly, how did their comment contribute to an answer to the question I had posted?

After having these thoughts run through my head, I began to realize I am probably completely over analyzing their comments. I could be interpreting them in a completely different way then they were intended. Also, I made judgments about them without even meeting them (which is why these comments upset me in the first place). Not to mention, I posted in question in a group that has thousands of members - I set myself up for someone to make a stupid comment. That’s when I realized that social media is horrible for these kinds of situations! How can anyone understand the intention of what a person has written on their facebook, twitter, instagram? There’s no face to face interaction on the internet, so misunderstanding occur all the time (especially between strangers). That’s why social media is famous for pointless arguments and “comment wars”.

So what have I taken away for this experience? Well first of all, ignore the people who have too much time on their hands who write comments with the intention of upsetting you. Responding will get you nowhere. That being said, I know I won’t be posting in Hanoi Massive anymore. I also learned that in this day and age of only text conversations, you have to be careful to not judge and be aware of misunderstandings. For me , this doesn’t mean social media is evil or a bad means of communication, but it does mean you must chose you words wisely when using it and be aware of how you respond to other’s words.

Reflecting on having a visitor!

Recently, I had the pleasure of hosting a friend, Natasha, who was in a singing group with me in University. We both had a great time, even if I had to write my final report during most of her stay! Not only was her visit special because we hadn’t seen each other in such a long time (probably close to a year), but also because it showed me a whole new side of Hanoi and of myself.

As I showed Natasha my favorite foods and cafes, how to cross the street, and some famous places in Hanoi, I realized how much I have learned about this city. She made me realize that things that used to be strange to me – such as the insane traffic or constant attempts to sell you something as you walk down the street – have become normal. And as she put it, these things shouldn’t be normal to a Westerner, but they are now for me. She also made me realize that I understand the culture more than I previously thought. She showed me that I do speak enough Vietnamese to get by, I find a fork and knife unusual to use, and I know how to be polite to a Vietnamese (or rude if the situation calls for it).

Natasha also made me realize even more so how hard coming home is going to be. As we sat on plastic stools eating street food in the old quarter of Hanoi, we kept sharing stories and saying “how can you explain this to anyone back in Canada?”. Natasha having taught English in Thailand and now traveling Asia, she has had as many of these moments as I have. Although I am extremely excited to see my friends and family, I’m beginning to realize how hard communicating my time in Vietnam will be. I’m going to dread questions like “so how was your trip” or “tell me your favorite memory of Vietnam”… because for me they’re unanswerable. I know my friends and family are going to want to hear all about what I have experienced, but I’m afraid they’re not going to truly understand it. How can I share the feeling of wind in your hair as you  drive a motorbike, or the beauty of an ancient Vietnamese pagoda, or the taste of real bun cha (my favorite Hanoi specialty)? I’m afraid I’m going to feel like a bit of an alien in my own home. But I also know I have my fellow INDEVOURS to support me, and that the alien feeling will all be part of the cultural reintegration process. 

With one month left on placement...

With one month left in Hanoi, I’ve been reflecting on the things I will, and won’t, miss about this strange and wonderful city, and Vietnamese culture general. So here’s my ever-evolving list of things that will be hard to leave and things I’m ready to leave.

I’ll miss…

· The people (of course!). The friends I have made here will be for a lifetime I know it! And Vietnamese are always so happy to invite me places and share their lives with me. They’re the reason I WILL come back one day soon to Hanoi

· My job and co-workers. Although I'm not doing what I hoped to be doing during my time at SRD, I really do enjoy the communications work I do. I also am proud to work for such a reputable and professional organization like SRD. We work hard, but we also know how to have fun! SRD really is my Vietnamese family.

· The food. Not having the best street food in the world just outside my front door, for around $1/meal, is going to make me go through Vietnamese food withdrawal. And I’ll miss my office cook’s food too! Which reminds me, I’m gonna have to cook again (ugh... the joys of being “grown up”).
· The culture. I feel like I’m always picking up a new custom, exploring a new area of town, or learning new facts about Vietnamese history. Living in such a culturally rich place, there’s always ways to expand your knowledge! Especially in Hanoi.
· Always having something to do. Whether it’s a hanging cool coffee shop, biking with a friend to a pagoda, or going to a concert… Hanoi has no shortage of things for you to do and see! It’s one of the reasons I love big cities!
· The independence. Although I love sharing my life in Vietnam with friends back home and wish they could experience it with me, it feels pretty cool that I have a life all my own that is completely different than my loved ones. I also feel like living so far from home has truly made me stand on my own two feet and make decisions by myself, which I’m sure will make me more self-sufficient when I get back home.
· The craziness and busy-ness of the city. As chaotic as life can be in Hanoi sometimes, it gives the city a character. A pulse. A vibe. It makes you come alive and want to explore.
· The ease of transportation in Asia. I love how cheap and easy it is to travel by bus, train and even plane! It’s given me the chance to see so much of this incredible country, and continent!

I won’t miss
· The traffic and noise. After 7 months I’m still not a fan of horns 24/7 and getting cut off every few minutes while I bike home (although I have come to accept and deal with these long ago). Hanoi has even made me an angry driver at times. When I do get honked at, cut off, or nearly hit by someone talking on their cellphone, luckily I can let out my frustrations in English while continuing down the street and no one around me is phased. Having some rules on the road will be a nice change.
· Getting unwanted attention. The occasional strange man yelling “I love you” at me, or the questions about my age/martial status/income/home country don’t bother me really (because that’s just how life as a foreigner goes in Vietnam goes), but it will be nice to “blend in” again.
· Having to buy bottled water. Drinking from the tap is privilege I have missed.
· The language barrier. Many people in Hanoi speak at least a little English, and I understand quite a bit of Vietnamese by now, but understanding 100% of what I hear and see around me will be a pleasant surprise to come home to I think. Granted I will miss the challenge that this language barrier presented me. I hope I stay motivated to continue to practice and learn Vietnamese even once I won’t need it every day.

You can see how torn myself, and my fellow INDEVOURS as well probably, are feeling right now about leaving the places we have called home for 7 months now. But at the same time, I feel in many ways I'm ready to go home. Such is the life of a development worker I suppose... falling in love with a place you're working in and knowing you have to leave it one day.

Observations on vietnamese culture

There are many aspects of Vietnamese culture that I really enjoy and have accepted whole heatedly – like showing respect by referring to people based on their age relative to you, or slurping you soup and noodles! But there is one part of Vietnamese culture that I still find strange and cannot accept, which is the pressure on girls to get married young. Whenever I meet a new Vietnamese person, the conversation almost always starts by them asking my age, where I am from, what my salary is, if I am married, and how old I will be when I do get married. I by no means am saying every Vietnamese asks these questions, but I have to say I have had this experienced almost more times than I can count. To a Westerner, these questions can come off as very personal and unusual to ask someone you have just met. I know now that these questions are just a way that Vietnamese get to know me and I answer them honestly every time, but the “when will you be married?” question still doesn’t sit well with me. Not only does the question assume that everyone wants to get married in the first place, but it also puts so pressure on young Vietnamese girls to find a husband, which can take away from their carriers or other aspirations. Many of my single friends here in Hanoi who are around my age have told me about how their parents keep asking when they will bring a man home. If you’re not married by 30-years old in Vietnam, you’re considered undesirable and too old to find someone anymore. Parents get worried, and think marriage is a kind of security net for their children.  For me, marriage is something that should happen because you are ready for it and have met the right person, not something you should force to happen by a certain age. I’m not saying that young marriage is always bad and unhappy, but I think you need your youth to figure out who YOU are before you can commit to another person for the rest of your life. This may be a somewhat Western view, but it’s one that I will always advocate for because I believe marriage is too big of a decision to force on a person.

However, from what I have observed, the pressure to get married young is a generational thing which is changing. Although my single Vietnamese friends say they feel their parents want them to get married soon, they want to wait until they find the right person to marry. I think the “get married young” view is becoming old-fashioned amoug today’s youth. However that doesn’t mean that girls don’t feel the pressure still. They see their friends marrying, and ask themselves when their wedding will be. I think this shows there is a slow but definitive change in this aspect of Vietnamese culture. I have no idea how far this change will go or if it will happen for the better, but I hope it happens in a sustainable way that will give Vietnamese girls more freedom.

So, to my fellow INDEVOURS and to my Vietnamese readers, do you observe a similar situation? And what do you think about this topic? Please note again that this just my observations about Vietnamese culture… I don’t claim that it is 100% accurate and I mean no offense.