A rant about tattoos and Facebook: social media lessons

Today I had an experience on social media that has influenced my perspective and opinion about it. It started when I asked for some simple advice on a social media site about a tattoo. I wrote a question on the Facebook group “Hanoi Massive” (which is a group where expats living in Hanoi can post questions, events, room vacancies, etc) about where/how to dispose of the needle I was given by the parlor where I got a star tattooed behind my ear. I got many helpful answers, as I expected. But as could also be expected, two people with clearly too much time on their hands who decided it’d be funny to post “I'm more interested to hear about the Tattoo? Fusion Logo on your forehead?” and “We want photos of the tattoo or come and show me...”. These comments thoroughly upset me, and as much as I wanted to respond to them and defend tattoos (and the fact that they shouldn’t give a shit what I put on my body because well, it’s my body), I decided to be the bigger person and let it be. I instead decided to share my thoughts here on the whole situation, and the new opinion about social media it has given me.

So why did these comments upset me? I’m certainly no stranger to mean or mischievous people on the internet, but these comments hit me on a more personal level. First of all, as I mentioned, why is it their business what I put on my body? A tattoo is a deeply personal choice that I shouldn’t have to justify to anyone. Tattoos have meanings to the person who’s body their on, and for me, these comments made me feel like these people were questioning the significance of mine. It was like they were telling me I’m clearly one of those people who drunkenly decided to get a stupid tattoo. For me, tattoos are an art form and means of expression, and these people’s comments imply to me that they have the opposite opinion (although I can respect a difference in opinion). Also, these two people have never meet me before in their life, who are they to demand a picture of me or judge my personal choices? Lastly, how did their comment contribute to an answer to the question I had posted?

After having these thoughts run through my head, I began to realize I am probably completely over analyzing their comments. I could be interpreting them in a completely different way then they were intended. Also, I made judgments about them without even meeting them (which is why these comments upset me in the first place). Not to mention, I posted in question in a group that has thousands of members - I set myself up for someone to make a stupid comment. That’s when I realized that social media is horrible for these kinds of situations! How can anyone understand the intention of what a person has written on their facebook, twitter, instagram? There’s no face to face interaction on the internet, so misunderstanding occur all the time (especially between strangers). That’s why social media is famous for pointless arguments and “comment wars”.

So what have I taken away for this experience? Well first of all, ignore the people who have too much time on their hands who write comments with the intention of upsetting you. Responding will get you nowhere. That being said, I know I won’t be posting in Hanoi Massive anymore. I also learned that in this day and age of only text conversations, you have to be careful to not judge and be aware of misunderstandings. For me , this doesn’t mean social media is evil or a bad means of communication, but it does mean you must chose you words wisely when using it and be aware of how you respond to other’s words.