Reflecting on having a visitor!

Recently, I had the pleasure of hosting a friend, Natasha, who was in a singing group with me in University. We both had a great time, even if I had to write my final report during most of her stay! Not only was her visit special because we hadn’t seen each other in such a long time (probably close to a year), but also because it showed me a whole new side of Hanoi and of myself.

As I showed Natasha my favorite foods and cafes, how to cross the street, and some famous places in Hanoi, I realized how much I have learned about this city. She made me realize that things that used to be strange to me – such as the insane traffic or constant attempts to sell you something as you walk down the street – have become normal. And as she put it, these things shouldn’t be normal to a Westerner, but they are now for me. She also made me realize that I understand the culture more than I previously thought. She showed me that I do speak enough Vietnamese to get by, I find a fork and knife unusual to use, and I know how to be polite to a Vietnamese (or rude if the situation calls for it).

Natasha also made me realize even more so how hard coming home is going to be. As we sat on plastic stools eating street food in the old quarter of Hanoi, we kept sharing stories and saying “how can you explain this to anyone back in Canada?”. Natasha having taught English in Thailand and now traveling Asia, she has had as many of these moments as I have. Although I am extremely excited to see my friends and family, I’m beginning to realize how hard communicating my time in Vietnam will be. I’m going to dread questions like “so how was your trip” or “tell me your favorite memory of Vietnam”… because for me they’re unanswerable. I know my friends and family are going to want to hear all about what I have experienced, but I’m afraid they’re not going to truly understand it. How can I share the feeling of wind in your hair as you  drive a motorbike, or the beauty of an ancient Vietnamese pagoda, or the taste of real bun cha (my favorite Hanoi specialty)? I’m afraid I’m going to feel like a bit of an alien in my own home. But I also know I have my fellow INDEVOURS to support me, and that the alien feeling will all be part of the cultural reintegration process.