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Tuesday 13 May 2014

Coming home: How it feels to be back in Canada

It’s been 2 weeks since I’ve returned to Canada (I apologize for the hiatus in writing blog posts due to the chaos of leaving Hanoi then coming back home, by the way) and it’s been the biggest two weeks of ups and downs in my life. From tears to joy in the airport, to embarrassing silent tears of missing my Vietnamese friends on a GO bus ride. From starting an incredible new job, to feeling like I can’t connect with my friends and family the same way anymore. From celebrating completing my undergrad, to the realization that my classmates (and best friends) and I are now all heading down very different paths.

I also haven’t been able to shake the feeling of my own home feeling familiar, but very different at the same time. The places, the lifestyle, the people, are all “normal” to me. But at the same time, there are new buildings, places I used to frequent have changed (what do you mean Tim Hortons has changed their cups?!), and my friends/families lives have moved on while I was gone. Even the look of our Canadian money has changed during my 8 months away. And of course, I’ve changed in ways I’m still realizing. In terms of habits that have changed, “Oi” is still part of my daily vocabulary, I still give/receive things with 2 hands, and I’ll use chopsticks over a fork/knife. I forgot how to call over a waiter during my first few days back, and I nearly got run over by traffic my first few times crossing a street because “oh yeah, you don’t just step into traffic when you want to get to the other side of the road in Canada”. Little moments bring on waves of wanting to get on the next flight to Hanoi: like someone using a plastic water bottle when I just lived in a place where tap water was not drinkable, or the thought that for the price of a “nice” meal in Canada I could feed myself for weeks in Vietnam, or reading a blog post from a dear Vietnamese friend. And there was one point last week where I said "if one more person asks me how my trip was I am going to scream".

On a positive level however, I’ve certainly become more aware of the parts of my culture and Vietnamese culture that I value. I feel I’m more open, more mature, more culturally sensitive, more aware of how vast the world is and so ready to explore more of it. I’m a better communicator, more adaptive, more resilient, more comfortable being out of my comfort zone. These are all things I got the chance to identify during our debriefing sessions. But I also have been frustrated by feeling different in ways I cannot identify. Certain social situations have made me feel like I know I am different, but I just can’t say what that difference is. Such is the pains of reverse culture shock I suppose.

Despite these “growing pains”, this week I started an amazing job at the Markham Fair as a summer student. I have several responsibilities, including organizing/running a community garden, running sessions in primary schools teaching kids about planting, planting the sunflowers and pumpkins that the kids put into pots at these sessions, maintaining the gardens around the fairgrounds, creating a corn maze, and assisting with environmentally-focused summer camps. In my first 2 days, I have researched about community gardens, meet with a man involved in a town of Markham community garden, researched corn mazes, and got in touch with schools about my sessions! The job is very much about me accomplishing the goals of the position in my own way, and I love that I can take ownership of the projects I am involved in. I hope to keep my blog going this summer talking about what I’m up to at my job!


Until next time internet…