Fitting in in my home away from home

The other day on a 3-hour bus trip back to Hanoi from a field trip in Nam Dinh province, I found myself reflecting on what it means to call a foreign country “home”, and what that means for development work. A foreign country CAN feel like home, and for me, Vietnam has become a country I can say I feel “at home” in. I have people I care about here, I have a routine here, I have a place to live here. However, no matter how long I am here I will never be able to go a day in Vietnam without sticking out as a foreigner in some way… whether it’s because I don’t speak the language fluently, I make a cultural mistake, or simply because of the way that I look. It can get frustrating when people act a certain way or say certain things to you just because you're a “Westerner”. I know when I walk down the street and I hear the word “tay” (which means Westerner in Vietnamese) it is usually not meant in an offensive way, but at the same time, sometimes I just want to turn around and say “Yeah, I’m white, what’s it to you?!”.

Don’t get me wrong, I by no means think that Vietnamese people are prejudice or unwelcoming when I say they treat me different for being a foreigner.In fact, most of the time foreigners get treated specially in most situations... except maybe when it comes to negotiating prices. I just think the frustration comes from the fact that I don’t think twice when I see a “foreigner” back in Canada, and I wouldn't treat them differently simply because they are not from Canada. Seeing people from all over the world is part of daily Canadian life, and not necessarily part of daily Vietnamese life (especially in rural areas).

Looking past these feelings of frustration, I have come to terms with the fact that if I am going to work in development, I’m going to have to get used to “sticking out”. I cannot change the fact that I am a Westerner, no matter how humble I may act or how much I assimilate myself into whatever culture I work in. As a development practitioner who plans to work abroad, I will always be a guest in someone elses' home… trying to understand and solve problems that I will probably never have to face myself. That fact both excites me and terrifies me at the same time. Placement so far has given me a little taste of what it feels like to try and solve these complex problems, but I know I’ve only scratched the surface.